Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
