Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
