He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
