just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
