how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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