You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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