Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
