Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
