I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
