btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
