break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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