Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
