11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
