I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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