I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
