He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
