you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
