My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
