i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
id be glad to
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
