Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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