Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
