About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
