Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
