It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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