I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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