3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
not ubering you a puppy
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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