You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
