I want to stick my p in your. b.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
