I am spending my child support on dildos
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He better not be in your backpack
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
