i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
