just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
