Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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