it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Your cock deserves a montage
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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