so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dicks are not precious.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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