break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
