"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
