Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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