the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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