but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I need water and some morals
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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