dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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