I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
