Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
