he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
