She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
