I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
