Got a toothbrush?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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