I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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