i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
