My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
