dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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