You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize