was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
