YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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