He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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