dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
