It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
