I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
