I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
