Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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