I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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