my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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