Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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