Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
