Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
