They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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